I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
can u get pink eye on your cock?
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
