Don't you send me to vm
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
