We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
