If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
sarcasm needs its own font
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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