your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
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