I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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