So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
