Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
