grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
