Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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