I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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