It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
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I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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