My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
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