Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Randomize
