That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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