I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
