im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
