Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Randomize
