She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
50% drunk capacity currently
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
