I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
