we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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