Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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