I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
