I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Randomize
