if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
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I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
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Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I think i got beer on your cat.
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