You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
