I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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