Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
