I think i peed on brittanys purse
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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