it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
