Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
