I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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