I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
His hands were made for my vagina.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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