That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize