My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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