Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
We left an ass print on the piano.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
