hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
