She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize