I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize