their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
