You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Randomize