i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
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