After last night, I could never be a politician.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
i believe in u and ur pee
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize