Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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