I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
