tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
