Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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