I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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