my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
My vagina is officially offended.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Randomize
