If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
