No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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