need another drink. this is the easiest way
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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