This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
