I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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