That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
try to milk me bitch
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