Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
