I wish i was in the wii world.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
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