i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Randomize
