This dress was meant to end up on your floor
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
