If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
