Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize