He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
