new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
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