She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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