My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
