wanna go halves on a baby?
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
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