There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
She bit a glass in half.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
