Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
