I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
last night I used snow as a chaser
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
