hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I understand Curling. That high.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
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