I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
